Life, The Wanderer

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I have been going to some coaching sessions (so I can then find some kind of path in life oh well) and when I say I have a deep problem of communication, I’m not kidding.

This last session I had to do a questionarie called Feedback 360º and it’s basically questions about how do you believe others perceive you. WHAT A NIGHTMARE. I thought I was going crazy.

respira

I spent at least 10 minutes in each question because I just couldn’t say what I was thinking outloud, or would overthink and then question myself. I even screamed in frustration once or twice.

Horrible. And also very eye opening.

It was good introspection work and I could feel my inner self screaming for change and then running and hiding and leaving me all alone to deal with all the hard parts. That little one…

But what actually left me feeling more nervous and anxious than anything was when I needed to talk good things about myself. I just went mad.
I’m pretty aware of how this works because it happens all the time in my life. I hardly ever have the confidence to see the virtues in myself and to feel proud about what I do.

It’s so much easier to talk about the negative aspects and how you are not very good.
But this time I actually even stuttered a little because the nice words refused to be said and ugh. Really, Bia?

I do try to remember to not treat myself in a way I wouldn’t ever treat someone else. To see and acknowledge the good things and to not be so harsh. But it’s hard.
It’s like one of those Ancient Human Laws, but more like a curse. So hard to break.

BUT I’M TRYING, even if it leaves me very disturbed, and it’s another important step in the direction of BEING fully myself.

I’m eager to get to the other side, to be able to aknowledge the good just as the bad and the ugly.

goodbadugly

I will share here some of the questions so you can answer them yourselves, and feel free to comment what you think about it and if it as hard for you as it’s for me! Do you guys also have a hard time talking about the good parts of yourselves?

How do you think you are perceived by other people who have the same cultural, social and financial background as you(people who have a similar style of life)?
(Lost lost girl but interested and curious? )

How do you think you are perceived by close friends ?
(A little impatient/critical but very caring and considerate? And maybe a d-de…wait, wait. I will try again. I can do it. Maybe a bit of a d-determined person?)

What is the impact you believe you have on people when they meet you for the first time?
(Quiet but somehow excited? Maybe a little distant?)

How would you like to be perceived? What would you change about the way you interact with others?
(Confident, nice, wise, approachable. I would like to be more sure of myself)

Here they are! Take your time.

(I also feel like this post has more gramatical and sentence structure errors than the others – the irony-, so pardon me)

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