Well well, since I decided to cut my sugar intake I have been cooking. A LOT. The thing is, if you want to know what you are eating, you need to do it yourself so…
Having some spare time right now and actually liking cooking, it was a good thing for me, more or less. I have been loving going out to buy things and experimenting with new and different ingredients. Everything was going somewhat okay for the past weeks, I was making some healthy pancakes and biscuits and then WELL. WELL. THEN THIS HAPPENED:
Well, yeah, it would be nice if these were only a very ugly thing but they also tasted ugly and had a smell of sadness. In an act of despair and delusion I even threw one of them in the frying pan in hopes of changing something and well, things got worse and I sent this to my friends and they were sure it was meat. Well, it was not.
What they were: a mess of ingredients that never were supposed to be together trying to become biscuits. It had figs, walnuts, bananas and the dreadful coconut flour. I blame everything on the coconut flour. It is my new enemy and I shall not forget nor forgive.
At the end I just wasted lots of good things in a recipe that was inedible, felt like my dreams of being a chef were crushed under the dead weight of these horrible biscuits and just got very upset.
Well, skip a week and I’m trying again, because life doesn’t wait, because the taste of those horrible things are already a forgotten memory and because it’s cold and I’m craving biscuits to go with my tea. But this time I’m prepared. I got rid of the coconut flour, I changed the recipe, I only have the good ingredients – still no sugar- . And things go well! Yay! The cooking gods were with me today.
They are not super beautiful but they taste nice and have a wooonderful smell! The black ones are chocolate, which ended up being too bitter, and there are also coconut and vanilla ones. I ended up happy, ate almost them all and drank a nice cup of vanilla tea. It was a good night and I now feel invigorated to keep working!
But what can you take out of this mess?
- A mass of strange things cannot ever become biscuits.
- You cannot be something good while missing good things.
- Better leave sad things alone before they become monsters.
- Your cooking experiences don’t define who you are.
- You will fail and sometimes you will thrive and that’s life.
And as Van Gogh would say:
“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”
Or “you cannot cook”, “you cannot write”, “you cannot dance”, etc.
Failure is at every step of life and well, I guess we just need to laugh at it and try again. I’m back to drawing daily and even though I feel I’m waay behind the place I want to be and doing very huge mistakes, I’m still trying. I’m also writing a novel, as I said before, and it’s hard and there are days when I question what I am doing. But I’m still doing it.
And I will keep cooking, for better or for worse, and I know when you are trying new things sometimes ugly and sad monsters will come out of it, and sometimes they will come out good. Anyway, try again, try better and laugh at the failures. There’s really nothing else to do aside from giving up.
Do you guys agree? What are you doing right now that requires some “try again” moments? Are you laughing at your failures?
And have a good week you all! This one is smelling like it will be good!