Life, Music Box, The Wanderer, Uncategorized

Jazz and mind

Sometimes, when I’m struggling with something, having some doubts or feeling anxious, I go back and read things I wrote weeks, months, years before.
Yesterday I was having one of those days and decided to read one of the notebooks I usually pour my ideas and feelings into.
I found this:

From time to time I feel this dreadful insignificance, completely and totally without reason and without warning.
It’s almost as if everything suddenly became a big and unmotivated nothingness. Writing, reading, drawing, making. Being.

In these moments everything feels like a big weight to be carried for non ending deserts. I don’t feel like the one in control of myself, of my life, and feel no desire to do anything.
That’s why when I started feeling this way today I decided I would sit comfortably in my chair near the window and take the chance of being alone at home to put a jazz playlist to play loudly.
Bless it. Bless jazz and its ability to calm me down, to make me wander far from my mind.
Ah, existential crisis would be cured if we were as certainly uncertain as jazz.

After reading this I smiled, tucked myself into bed and listened to one of my jazz/swing playlists as if nothing else in the world mattered .
And well, as expected it calmed me down and even though the bad feelings didn’t go completely away, I was able to sleep easily and felt somewhat safe. So yeah, bless it.

So I’m leaving this here. To someone who might need to hear some jazz to calm their minds. (And to be honest, jazz is always good to hear)


4 thoughts on “Jazz and mind”

  1. Well, I had already noticed that you got an amazing taste in music and all, but somehow couldn’t imagine you listening to jazz. A really nice surprise (:
    The first thing I listen to, almost every single day, is Miles’ “So What?”. And the day ends with Brubeck’s “Take Five”. Put some Coltrane’s and Mingus in between, and you got an almost perfect day, whatever that day throws at you.

    “Ah, existential crisis would be cured if we were as certainly uncertain as jazz.”
    Just so you know, I’ll start quoting your incredible texts really soon, Bia 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yay! That’s awesome!
      I’m always happy to find other people who like jazz! You just went a level above with a jazz routine.
      And I can’t agree more: Take Five is perfect to end the day.
      I cannot let Benny Goodman out though, liking swing as I do.

      And thank you very much, sir! It would be an honor to be quoted! 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Nah, the honor would be all mine (:
        And you surprise me once again: Benny Goodman is awesome! But after some trouble for playing jazz “too loud” at work, late night is now the only time Mr Goodam shines :´)

        Liked by 2 people

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