Life, The Wanderer

Doing it

Hey Hey! I’m actually late to write this and I have been thinking about this the entire week, so sorry that only now I took the time to sit and put it here.

My days have been full of too many thoughts and fears and anxiety, but on the middle of it all I actually tried very hard to do something new!

Context: by a very strange coincidence I was talking with an old friend of mine over Facebook and decided to see what she is been up to, and then I saw she was part of this very interesting program about businesses of social impact. They open new ‘classes’ two times a year and you need to answer some questions and record a 1 minute video to enter a selective process (because it’s limited to 40 people). AMAZINGLY when I saw it, they were open for enrollment till the 23rd (last sunday)!
I got interested instantly. I have always felt a pull toward jobs related to social impact but during my time in university I ended up getting very distant from it and not so sure that it is something I would want to work with.
So seeing this opportunity now, in a moment in my life when I don’t have any compromises and no purpose, to learn more about it and to try to do something new seemed amazing.

BUT obviously I spent days and days thinking if I should really try to enroll, if I should really do it, if it were really something I wanted to do and all the while trying to gather my energy to answer the questions and record the 1 minute video (I had never done it and it felt impossile and horrible). It made me go a bit crazy with all the doubt and I even gave up for a few days because it felt too much.

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But then by saturday the skies cleared, I went out with friends, played a horror game all night(I don’t think this helped but it was fun) and by sunday my grandma made a very delicious lunch and I felt OK, so I decided that I should try anyway. I will lose nothing, I may have an awesome experience and by then I can decide If I like it or not. And I may not even be selected so…

With all this in mind I answered the questions, recorded the video(after much struggle) on the 23rd and sent it last minute. YOOOHOO. It actually felt good to just DO it. To actually put all my effort in doing something that felt impossible.

As I said, I still don’t know if I will be selected at all, but just the act of sending it made me feel like I had accomplished something great and now that it is already done, it does seems like a very good opportunity.

And I wanted to share this little piece of victory! I’m happy I made this decision.
Now I can only wait for the results and try to gather again all the energy that I spent doing this HAHA.

So what have you been up to? Do you have this crippling fear, doubt and anxiety when trying to do something new that feels impossible? How do you deal with it? Do you have something right now that you wish you could do but are anxious about trying?

And hope you all had an awesome week!!

(I also have lots of things to talk about – some strange and random –  and think I will soon be around more! yupyup)

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The positivity bird is here to cheer you on!!

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3 thoughts on “Doing it”

    1. Thank you! I can’t even imagine what it is like to audition like this. The only time I had to audition was for this one minor theater group thing, and my, what a disaster hahaha. And job applications YES, in the end I guess we all get stressed when being evaluated.

      Thank you for taking your time to comment and I did start to follow your blog! I do not dance (I mean, not professionally), but I have a huge interest and admiration for people who does!

      Good week!

      Liked by 1 person

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